Rough Night

Hi eaters.
Sorry for disappearing last night. I did intend to pop in, but things got a little crazy. And today has been no better.
I need to address something important. Today I have received some truly horrible anonymous comments on the post about my stepfather’s passing. In the midst of all of your wonderfully supportive and touching showings of support for my family and myself, someone has been saying the most hurtful things about both Bill and my mother. As a result of this, I’m torn when it comes to comments. 
I realize that a lot of you don’t have blogs or Google IDs, and since I love hearing from you so much I don’t want to block non-registered comments. But at the same time, I don’t want to subject myself or my family to these outrageously explosive rants and extremely hurtful words any longer. I just don’t know. But I do know that in light of these comments, I do want to clarify something.
Bill was not legally my stepfather. Him and my mother were engaged for a long time. They had planned on getting married, but then he got sick and neither of them wanted their wedding to be tainted by his illness. So despite the lack of a legally binding certificate, I referred to Bill as my stepfather because 1) it was easier to say than my mother’s fiancé, and 2) I thought of him as a part of my family, certificate of not.
I’m lucky that these are some of the first negative comments I’ve ever received, but I wish more than anything that they had been about me, not about my family. And I hope that none of you feel like I’ve misled you with the way I’ve referred to Bill. Regardless of what I called him, he deserves a hell of a lot more respect than this.

In light of all of this straight up bullshit, I wasn’t feeling like going big for dinner. I was barely hungry, but since the last thing I ate was a scoop of Berry Berry Extraordinary Sorbet, I knew I needed something in my stomach.
So, I decided on the easiest dinner I could think of.
Spinach, black beans, onions, salsa.
Grab a salad from our fast food option.
Someone teach me how to flip eggs, please.
Fry a couple of eggs.
Pour on enough hot sauce to drown an ant colony.
Mmm seedy bread.
Add a slice of slightly stale, but still delicious bread.
And dinner is served.
Eggs and bread and vegetables filled me up and calmed me down a little. Now I’m trying to resist the urge to eat my feelings in the form of a giant brownie. It won’t do any good, especially when all I really want to do is hit a punching bag or do sprints or something weird like that.
Thanks for understanding, eaters. Those of you who read FoodBaby regularly are absolutely amazing and I cherish and thank everyone of you for your interest and support of my little blog. Pleasepleaseplease, tell me what I should do regarding comments. Would you be terribly upset if I had to block non-registered commenters for a while? I completely understand if you would be. I know I would be if it comes to that. So please do give me your two cents.
Thanks again, eaters. G’night. 

Snack Time

Hiya eaters!
I have come to a very important conclusion today — if I every have to get a 9-5 job I’ll be screwed. I studying and whatnot for 6 hours today…but it wasn’t straight through (there were two long-ish breaks), and my mind is still mush. I’m talking mush to the point of missing the exit to the mall TWICE.
Yup, I’m winning more than Charlie Sheen tonight. But luckily I got a lot of work done before I turned into a warlock. (That’s another Charlie Sheen reference, if you’re not a pop culture whore like me.)
And now that I’ve eaten my weight in candy rested for a little bit, I think I have the mental capacity to talk turkey with you, eaters.
By turkey, I mean calories.
Not too long ago, I mentioned that I was trying to up my calories in an effort to up my appetite. Sounds weird, right?
Ya see, eaters, it all started in high school when I was a diet book connoisseur. I fell hard for the 3 Hour Diet (because I was stupid and thought it meant I only had to diet for three hours total). The basis of this diet is eating multiple small meals throughout the day. Rocket science, right?
Well, I eventually ditched that diet (who has time to watch the clock like that in high school?), but somehow the portion sizes stuck with me. So even though I wasn’t getting the two extra small meals a day, and even though I was working out quite a bit more, I was still eating mini meals. And with the decrease in calories came a drastic decease in appetite.
And that makes perfect sense. If you’re eating too few calories, you’re body does weird things like stop getting hungry. It also eats away at various stores of things within your body that probably shouldn’t be eaten (read: muscle).
So long story short, I’ve been trying to eat an afternoon snack. And by trying, I mean thoroughly enjoying. I’m enjoying this because I enjoy eating, and I extra enjoy eating when I’m hungry. And m’gosh, being hungry for dinner has taken it to a whole new level.
Oh and speaking of levels, my energy levels are much higher. I don’t think I’ve napped since I started this experiment, which is huge (considering I rarely drink caffeine, too).
So now that you know I’m happily snacking away, are you curious as to what I’m eating? Of course you are!
Answer: Luna bars! Luna bars! Carrots and hummus! Luna bars!
Yes, I have been using my new snacking habit as an excuse to indulge my bar cravings. Yes, I did have them under control until the Battle of the Bars. Don’t judge.
My favorite thus far has been Peanut Butter Cookie.
Toasted Nuts N’ Cranberry, Berry Almond and Iced Oatmeal Raisin are also good.
And the new Chocolate Dipped Coconut really does taste like a Girl Scout cookie.
But trust me when I say this, if you like fruity bars stay far away from Blueberry Bliss. It doesn’t taste like blueberries. It tastes like a crappy blueberry goo pastry/stale Pop Tart. Ne pas mmm, eaters. Ne pas. (And yup, there’s you’re daily dose of French. I make 150 French flashcards today, forgive me.)
I didn’t just pick Luna bars because of their wide variety of flavors, though. I picked them because each has about 9g of protein and between 160-190 calories, which I deem as the perfect snack size.
If you want to know how I feel about other bars, check out my Rants and Raves tab. It’s slightly outdates, but helpful.

Hopefully I’m not the former. And with that — g’night eaters!

WW: Delts to Die For

G’evening eaters!
It is Wednesday, right?
That mean’s it’s Hump Day! And exam eve, for me.
Can you guess which one is more exciting?
I spent almost all day studying. I feel exhausted. But also very well hydrated. Who knew that studying could make me so thirsty?
Anywhoo, it is in fact Wednesday, so let’s talk WW, shall me?

I love my deltoids!
Last summer: starting to pop
They are well defined, strong, and oh so pretty.
Last fall: I see a line
Dontcha think?
When I started lifting weights they were the first muscles that got defined. And now I use them as my gage for how in shape I am. Since I try to work everything evenly, the more they pop, the more the rest of my body must be popping.
I don’t know if my wonderfully developed delts are normal or not, but I do know that in the battle of biceps and triceps, the delt often gets forgotten. So here’s a quick guide, complete with funny pictures that I find online.
Kettlebell swing
I’m lucky enough to have a full set of murder weapons kettlebells at my gym. This is one of my favorite moves because it works a lot of different muscle groups. Just be careful of your family jewels on the down swing.
Do those shorts look weird to you?
Upright row
This move can be done with free weights of a cable machine, either way, it needs to be done. This is a favorite mine because it works almost entirely the delts, which makes it a prime candidate for high rep/low weight toning.
Hello grandpa.
Side arm raises
Some people call these wing raises, but I guarantee even with the lightest weights you won’t feel capable of flying away. These are tough, but so satisfying.
No, don’t smile. Not once.
Front arm raises
This is the opposite of the side raises, because these feel almost too easy (relatively). But they are just as important, because they work the whole shoulder.
These four are only my favorite moves, which means there’s quite a few more, but add a few reps of these to your weights workouts and in no time flat you’ll be popping just like me. (Unless my deltoids really are freakishly developed, which is entirely possible.)

G’night eaters. 

I’d Like to Thank Beyonce

Hi eaters!
It’s been a long lovely day for me. A morning Bikram class with a new teacher (my usual one had a baby!) who barked like a drill instructor. A couple of hours of English thesis presentations. A couple of hours of art history studying. A couple of eggs. More than a couple of minutes having a much needed, much appreciated talk with VG.
I’m far past exhausted, but I like it.
And I really really like that it seems that no one wants to burn me in effigy for returning to eggs (even though last week’s episode of Parks and Recreation had such a lovely tutorial on effigy burning). If you haven’t read yesterday’s post or offered your two cents, I would really like it if you did. Because I definitely do appreciate your opinions.
And I really do appreciate that Liz (I <3 Vegetables) awarded me the Bootylicious Award.
She must know how many squats and lunges I’m been doing. Ha!
So, in honor of the award…
1) Name 3 things laying next to you right now.
My hand for a size comparison.
My insanely large phone.
A few shoes, because Marisa threw them at me for admitting that I watched too many episodes of Secret Life of the American Teenager today instead of studying more.
My water bottle. For some reason I’ve been thirstier than a camel on the Fourth of July. (Where do I get these metaphors?)
2) Name 2 foods you can’t live without.
Apples. If I can get my hands on a firm, crispy, crunchy, juicy apple, I’ll eat more than enough to keep the doctor away.
Fresh cracked black pepper, and other pepper products. Does that count as a food? Because I eat enough of it. M’gosh it makes all the difference sometimes.
3) Name 1 thing you did today.
I’ve already named a handful of things I did today, but I also took out the trash. Because when your trash can looks like this, it’s more than a little past due.
And now, because I’m certainly not the only bootylicious bloggirl, I’m passing this award onto Zoe and Laura.
With that, I’m off to watch more Secret Life study, like a good ‘Baby. Eccentric contemporary artists won’t memorize themselves.

G’night eaters.

Incredible, Edible

‘Ello eaters!
How was your Easter/spring weekend? Did you do anything special? If you’re curious as to how my weekend with the manly friend’s family went, check out m’Musings. It was quite an eventful couple of days.
And today was a hugely eventful day for me.
Let me repeat that — HUGELY eventful.
Today I did something I haven’t done in over 14 months…I bought eggs.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my diet (as in what I eat, not to lose weight). Along with that thinking has come a lot of questioning about why I choose to eat the way I do, how sustainable and feasible it is for me personally, and how much enjoyment I get out of it. And I’ve come to some interesting conclusions.
While I will be the first to say how delicious a medium-rare bacon-wrapped filet mignon is, I don’t see myself eating meat anytime soon. Dairy isn’t good for my asthma. But what about eggs?
Eggs are really incredible. My fascination with the correlation between the shape of eggs and the strength of Roman and Greek arches aside, there are few things I dislike about eggs. They’re damn tasty. They’re versatile. They’re low calorie, low carb, and high protein.
And they’re natural. Ya see, eaters, I didn’t become vegan for ethical reasons, but I guess it’s inevitable that vegans read a good bit about animal treatment. As a result, I gag a little when people have asked me to buy them meat at the grocery store. But chickens naturally produce eggs. Without having to be killed. Therefore, it is possible to produce eggs humanely. And it just so happens I found the perfect farm.
Massey Creek Farms, sold in the Piedmont-Triad area,  NC
As it turns out, the professor that taught me Quakerism last year owns a farm. His farm not only produces organic grass-fed beef, but also organic, free-range eggs. That picture on the front of the carton? It’s a picture of the chickens in their field with their mobile coop. Oh yes, a mobile coop. So that way the chickens always have a fresh area to graze in. Not a bad life, right?
And this, m’eaters, is not a bad sight.
No, in fact it’s a beautiful sight.
As is this.
And when you combine it with this (and a lot of Frank’s Red Hot)
A beautiful lunch is born.
Full of protein, flavor, and chew.
I might be a little rusty and thus overcooked the eggs a little…
But they were still perfect to me. Because anything you’ve been craving for over a year tastes amazing.
So what do you think, eaters? Are you angry and abandoning me for eating some eggs? Or do you understand where I’m coming from?
I surely hope it’s the latter. Because I really do appreciate your readership.
I’ll give you some time to think it over. And by time, I mean until I post tomorrow. That seems adequate, right?

G’night eaters.

NUTty Treat

Hiya eaters!
It’s Friday. Friday. Got to get down on Friday. Right?
Oh please god no.
But yes, eaters, it is Friday. And it is time to get down. It’s time to get down with…
In the process of trying to figure out if any more of my food had been pilfered I noticed that I have a lot of coconut products.
Four, to be exact.
Coconut milk, shredded coconut, coconut oil, coconut nectar.
See that giant jar of coconut oil?
Tropical traditions gold label virgin coconut oil, I love you.
It smells like pure coconut heaven.
So what’s a ‘Baby to do with all of these coconut products?
Well, bathing in them did cross my mind. But then I realized I don’t have a tub. (Or do I?) So instead, I did something useful with them.
I made cupcakes.
CocoNUT Cupcakes
Makes 1 dozen
1 c sugar
1 ½ c whole wheat pastry flour
1 t baking soda
¼ c shredded coconut
½ t salt
1 c coconut milk
1 t vanilla extract
1/3 c coconut oil
1 t white vinegar
Preheat the oven to 350.
Mix the dry ingredients. Mix the wet ingredient, except the vinegar. Mix the dry and the wet together. Once everything is thoroughly mixed, add in the vinegar and mix.
Scoop the batter into lined cupcakes pans.
Bake for 25-30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.
While those are cooling, make the frosting.
Coconut Frosting
1 package silk tofu, drained and pressed
¼ c coconut nectar
3 T powdered sugar
water, optional
shredded coconut
Blend everything until it reaches your desired consistency and sweetness. You may need more water or more nectar, depending on your desires. Once your frosting is good to go, spread it on your lil cakes. And then sprinkle plenty of shredded coconut.
Aren’t they cute?
I emphasized the “nut” in the in the cakes because they are very nutty — a mix between coconut and the delicate nuttiness of whole wheat flour. It’s quite pleasant.
Another pleasant thing about these pretty little babies is that they’re not terribly sweet. They’re sweet and decedent enough to be the treat you most definitely deserve, but not so sweet to where you have aching teeth or a sugar coma afterwards. And that means you can eat two in a row.
You can’t prove I know that from experience.
Don’t be scared off by the lack of super sweetness, because these cupcakes are still damn tasty. Or, as Marisa said, “BOSS AS FUCK.”
Remind me to have her write the blurbs if I ever write a cookbook. She has such great adjectives.
And I wish I still had these great cupcakes. But alas, they’re all gone. Oh the joys of roommates.
Speaking of which, you should check out my Musings if you’re curious what is afoot with me. If you’re not curious, please don’t tell me.
Thanks, eaters. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to make myself somewhat presentable (read: put on pants) because the manly friend’s parents are coming into town this weekend. Believe it or not, I really do have a blast when they’re around.

Have a good weekend. Later eaters.

Salad Muncher

Bonjour eaters,
Yup, it’s been another Francophile day for me. French class. French conversation group. French studying. I kind of love it. I more than kind of crave a huge hunk of brie and a huge whiff of cigarette smoke right now. Don’t judge me, please. I can’t help the way my mind works.
Speaking of other things that run through my mind during the day, let’s talk salads.
I think salads get a bad rap. A lot of people eat salads when they want to lose weight, which is fine. Salads are healthy and can be low in calories. But at the same time, they’re not just for people looking to lose weight.
While I may not be the biggest muncher nor am I trying to lose weight, I do more than enjoy a well constructed one. Like the one I ate for lunch today:
Not pretty.
Romaine, hummus, black beans, corn, salsa, onions, and hot sauce.
This one was spicy, creamy, and loads of fun to eat. And it’s highly portable, which is one of my favorite parts of salads. Because most times, I eat lunch next to my computer.
I’ll never tell if I was doing homework or watching Netflix. You’ll just have to wonder.
And while some salads are quick, easy meals, sometimes they take a little time to assemble. Such as the one I ate for dinner:
Dirty bowl.
Massaged dino kale, BBQ sauce, sliced apples, and marinated tempeh.
Not long after breakfast, I steamed, crumbled, and started marinating the tempeh. Then I de-stemmed and massaged the kale. While it was getting good, I sliced the apple.
And then I ate, which is possibly the best thing about salads — they take a long time to eat. Because I like my meals to last as long as possible.
So please, eaters, don’t assume people are eating salad because they are trying to maintain their girlish figures. Or because they want to show off a budding 6-pack. Sometimes, they just want to have fun eating (and maybe watching week-old re-runs).
Now I’ve got to run. Big things are afoot at the Circle K tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in tomorrow.

G’night eaters.

WW: Crazy Tri-guys

Hiya eaters!
Today was another day. I did things. I went to class. Yadda yadda.
Did anything exciting happen to you today?
I surely hope so. And I surely hope you’re ready for another WW, the first in far too long.
This past Saturday I got to spend some time with Brother and his friends. Now I say this with the utmost love but … Brother and his friends are weird. By weird I don’t exactly mean they wear capes and play D&D.; (Though I can’t guarantee they don’t.) I mean, they’re … triathletes.
I don’t know if you know this, but triathletes are a strange bunch. I can say this because I’m related to more than my fair share of them. And this means I’ve had plenty of time to observe the rare breed. From all my mornings spent standing outside a transition area and my afternoons watching them go in and come back from workouts, I have learned a few things that makes someone the special kind of crazy that triathlons require:
You have to be a bit of a loner.
With three different sports to excel at, it’s a lot of training. And with three different sports to train for, it’s unlikely that you’ll often have a training buddy. So that means a lot of pounding the pavement by yourself. Maybe that’s why a lot of Brother’s teammates seem to be a little less than social butterflies.
You have to care more about the clock than your pride.
Triathletes do some pretty weird things. First, both men and women wear bikinis. Don’t ask me if they have padding in their pants for the bike section, because I have no idea. They also practice taking their shoes on and off. Because when you’re wearing a bikini, all you really need to change is your shoes. So that’s what you practice. Over. And over. And over. But for those days when the water is a little too chilly for the skivvies, tri-guys wear wetsuits. And to help them take their wetsuits off quickly — Pam. Yup, before slipping into their second skins, a triathlete usually coats their bodies in AN ENTIRE CAN of Pam. And they display all these borderline mental illness signs all to gain a few extra semi-seconds.
You also wear funny helmets.
You have to pay attention to everything you eat.
Did you eat a couple too many cookies? Drink an extra beer? Or as Brother needs to ask himself, did you eat too much fruit? To successfully compete in three different sports you need to be more than on top of your game. Brother was reminded recently at the collegiate national championship race that he can’t handle much fruit or fiber before a race. He wasn’t thinking of that when he ate a snack box of raisins. But come time for the run, when his stomach was doing weird things and he couldn’t run to his potential, the message was more than clear. And on Saturday, when the team should have been whooping it up at their post-nationals celebratory formal, they were all watching how much they drank and how much fried rice they ate in preparation for their Sunday brick (when triathletes practice multiple disciplines back-to-back).
You need plenty of free time.
A spring triathlon is a 750 m swim, 20 km bike, and a 5 k run. If it’s not already clear, let me make it crystal — that’s a whole bunch. Brother, who describes himself as above average speed, finishes in just over an hour. But I’ve seen people take almost three times as long as that. I repeat — a whole bunch. In order to not embarrass yourself by finishing last, you need to train a lot. Sometimes hours a day. Almost every day a week. And you like it.
Like I said, triathletes are a crazy bunch. But they’re a crazy fit bunch. And not too bad to party with.
Think you’re that kind of crazy?
G’night, eaters.

Loving the Self

Hello eaters!
Today marks the first week since Bill passed, and I knew that was going to be a bit trying. So in light of that, I tried to do a few special, self-loving things to cheer myself up.
First, I rallied for a morning Bikram class. I knew this wasn’t going to be an earth shattering, record breaking class for me, but it was still good. And it was made all the better because I was able to snag a space right in front of the mirror. Whenever I can be at the front I feel like I can focus on my own practice so much more, instead of looking around. And today, I definitely needed to focus on myself.
After a refreshing shower I decided that today was just the day to slip into a new dress that I’ve been saving for some unknown reason.
Forever 21, you’re pretty hit or miss, but this time you were definitely a hit.
Pretty lady lace.
With my new dress on, I headed outside to soak up some mood-lifting vitamin D while trying to soak up some French. I may have also sipped on an ice coffee and popped a few carob malt balls while I worked.
Kind of like whistling while you work, right?
Two hours of studying French and almost three hours of class later, I was exhausted. And feeling surprisingly weak and dizzy. So I whipped my ultimate quick, simple, and satisfying meal — tofu scramble.
Sauteed up a whole red onion, a whole green bell pepper, and a spoonful of garlic.
Added in a whole block of tofu, a whole can of black beans, massive amounts of nutritional yeast, and various other spices.
And in no time flat I had massive bowl of scrambled dinner warming my lap.
Really, there are few things more comforting to me than this (and knowing that I have a lot of leftovers).
By the time I was done dousing my dinner in enough hot sauce to drown a firefighter (don’t judge, eaters, you should know this by now), my bottle of Texas Pete was empty.
Normally, this might make me a little sad. But not this time, because I was prepared…
With a new bottle of Frank’s RedHot. I’ve never had it, but it comes highly recommended by VG. Let’s hope it’s good.
So after all of this self-love, how am I feeling? Like all I want to do is sip a beer and catch up on some Hulu episodes. So that’s exactly what I’ll do!
Thanks again for baring with me, eaters. And please let me know if I’m boring or annoying you too terrible. I’m really trying not to, I promise.

G’night eaters.

The Usual

G’evening eaters.
You guys are so unbelievably wonderful. I appreciate all of your concern and kind words. They have really meant more to me than you can imagine.
I got back into the ‘Boro last night and frankly the last thing I wanted to do was anything productive. So I went over to the manly friend’s, watched “The Unit,” and tried not to talk about anything too deep, heavy or emotional. It was just what I needed.
But upon waking up this morning, I realized another thing I needed — food. When I left for home on Wednesday I took most of my perishable food with me, so this morning all I had left was a borderline brown banana and an empty jar of pb. It ended up being a pretty great breakfast, but I definitely needed to get some groceries.
Organic dino kale, organic pink lady apples, Justin’s chocolate pb, organic extra firm tofu x2, organic tempeh, green bell pepper, frozen mixed berries, organic red onion, organic black beans, Scharffen Berger extra dark chocolate and carob malted balls.
And since I knew that tonight was going to be extra busy and I wouldn’t feel like cooking, I decided to pick up a little something special for dinner:
Stellar salad.
Spinach, red and yellow bell peppers, tabouleh, roasted garlic green beans, buffalo chick’n seitan, and a couple of grapefruit slices.
It looks small and simple, but everything was so fresh and flavorful, I certainly didn’t feel deprived. Speaking of deprivation…
When I was putting my groceries away I noticed something — more of my food was missing. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve lost 2 cans of Amy’s soup, a can of tomatoes, and a Luna bar. Not a ton of food, but certainly enough to piss me off.
Oh the joys of roommates!
And enough to warrant this sign.
Call me passive aggressive, but I was not in the mood for any extra crap today.
And I bet you’re not in the mood to hear me complain any more. So here’s a possible bit of good news:
I dropped off my application to Earth Fare today. And the man who was working the customer service desk told me that they just had to let a couple of people go, so I had a really good chance at getting a job. Oh that would be so perfect!
So wish me luck with the job, eaters, and please continue sending good thoughts my way. I am so very grateful for them. And you.

G’night eaters.